For When Tomorrow Comes
by Josie Gibbons
Summary: sequel to my song fic "if ever" this is the story of Jal and Jacob as they move through their lives. focuses around the main ships of Jal/Chris and Sid/Cassie
1. Chapter 1

Thanks to itsnotafashionstatement I decided I should write this sequel to my one shot if ever . This story focuses primarily around Jal and Jacob, their lives after Chris and what happens to them, how they grow up and how they survive. I'm contemplating bringing in ideals from some of my other Chris/Jal work but not sure yet. Obviously this story will feature some angst, but mostly its a story about family, about the growth of achild and about how the relationship between a woman and her son can grow and develop. This first section is just short because it's only a prelude, but I wont post the first chapter until i get at least two reviews. This can be read on its own or with the original piece.

Disclaimer: I don't own skins

FOR WHEN TOMORROW COMES

PRELUDE

Looking down at the beautiful son nestled in her arms, Jal Miles couldn't believe that he was really hers, that he had really been created from her seed. It was unbelievable, in a way, that something so amazing could have come from her. But then, she thought, he had come from Chris too, and that was what really made him so special. Even at only a few days old she could see his father in him, in the way he cried when he wanted some attention and in the way he reacted when people entered the room. He was truly her fathers son, and she was grateful for that, because it meant she had that one extra thing to remember him by. She had changed her name when she was filling in Jacob's birth certificate, as it had felt like the right thing to do at the time. Instead of putting down Jal Fraiser in the place of mothers name she had simply and without thinking written down Jal Miles. And she was glad, too, that she'd made that choice. Although her name wasn't changed on the official records she felt like she was truly Jal Miles, because she'd always hated her own family. And after all, Chris was truly her family, the best thing to have happened to her. Well, apart from Jacob, and she was seeing that more and more as she spent more time with her son. He truly was a beauty, though that could have just been her mothering instincts pulling through.

She smiled down at the young boy as he reached up and grabbed her long hair in his fist. He was already so full of life and knew exactly what he wanted and she was lucky for that. She was lucky too, that she had such good friends sharing her flat, at least temporarily, because after they had heard about the birth of Jacob Cassie and Sid had chosen to come home to her, and were now sharing her flat with her. They were taking a lot of the strain off her, and she found it was nice to have the company again, to have someone who she could share her past with but without it taking over her life. She found that Sid and Cassie were better company now than they had been before, the break had really done Cassie some good, being away for a while, and the fact that it was her living in Chris's flat, and that Jacob was there with her, seemed to make it easier for her to return, to face her demons head on. It seemed to Jal almost as if they had created their own little family, with everyone around them but no-one really taking over, and she was grateful for that.

Sighing softly, she placed the now sleeping baby back into his crib, and got back into her own bed. The one thing she didn't love about being a mother was the five am feeds.

Okay so that was just the intro, a little first snippet of it. I don't know how fast this is going to move, but we'll just have to see. It could travel fast through Jacobs life, or it could take its time.

Remember, reviews make me write faster, especially if your bugging me for updates :)


	2. Chapter one

okay here we are, chapter one :) this takes place a few months after the intro, Jacob is now about five months old and Jal is still living with Cassie and Sid in the flat.

disclaimer: although i'd love to say i owned skins, i dont

CHAPTER ONE:

Jal woke up slowly, hesitant to open her eyes. From the kitchen she could hear the sound of muttered voices, and was thankful that Cassie seemed to be keeping Jacob entertained for the time being. Glancing at the clock on her bedside table, she let out a large groan. How had she managed to oversleep that much, honestly. It was all very well to go out and have fun once in a while, but with a five month old son, there had to be priorities. It was beyond mad to think about sleeping past eight am, and the clock beside her was telling her that it had gone eleven. Moaning at the pain in her head she rose slowly and, grabbing her dressing gown, made her clumsy way to her bedroom door. She couldn't help the flashbacks from the night before from filling her head, remembering how they'd gone out to celebrate the end of the exams for her friends still in college. Standing there, she couldn't help but smile at the site that greeted her.

Your dad was amazing, always so silly Cassie was telling the six month old boy as she fed him mushed up bananas off a purple fish spoon. He loved fishes just like you do, and he always had loads of them in the house. He was the fish boy and he used to make faces at them and talk just like you do when we take you to the zoo. Jal couldn't help but notice the bitter sweet smile which played across Cassie's always so passionate face. It hurt them all to think of Chris, even now, but they knew it was for the best. They knew that he had to be remembered, and had to be thought of, and she was glad that her friends were so adamant on telling her son about the father he would never know. Because, for her, this was still too hard. It was too hard to admit all that she'd lost when Chris died, and talking of him to her son was like that extra addmitance, that Daddy was never coming home, that she would never see him throwing his son up into the air, playing with him. She was glad though, that Jacob had auntie Cassie to take care of him and tell him these stories, and uncle Sid to tell him the stuff Cassie couldn't.

Mama came the happy cry from her son as he caught site of Jal and held his arms out towards her. Jal couldn't help but smile as she saw her young sons face light up. At five months old the only words he could say were mama and dada, but he was already really good at communicating what he wanted. She was so proud of him, even at such a young age, and truly was the epitamy of that old ideal of people always being soft on their children.

Hey there beautiful she smiled, picking him up and spinning him around her head. Hows my little prince doing this morning? she revelled in his giggles and hugged him close as the happy sound penetrated the room. Hows he been? she asked Cassie.

He's been good, really well behaved for me. We were singing all morning Oh, what did you sing? Came the reply.  
Just singing. We were both in good form. Its good the exams are finally out of the way and the gang can be back together again. Yeah, it'll be good to spend some well needed time together! Jals face lit up even more as she made her way to her normal seat against the table, holding Jacob on her lap. I'll love to give Jacob a chance to meet all his real family. She yawned loudly as Cassie got up to put the kettle on, filling it nearly to the top and fetching two cups from the cupboard.  
You having tea Jal? she asked her best friend You look like you need it. I'd love one! came the reply, as Jal rested her head on the table, smiling half heartedly at the son resting on her lap, the tiredness from the night before finally starting to hit her. They'd gone out quite early and she'd planned to get home early too, but things just hadn't worked like that. In the end they hadn't hit home until about two am, and Jal was just grateful that she had managed to find a good babysitter for Jacob. She normally wasn't comfortable leaving him with anyone other than her closest friends, but they'd needed this night for themselves, and she trusted Sid's mother to look after him almost as well as she could herself.

Okay guys, here we are, chapter one :D please read and review, because reviews make me happy and loved and all that jaz :D love you all


	3. Chapter two

sorry for the stupidly huge delay everyone, I meant to update this weeks ago, had the chapter written and everything. But then my stupid computer got a bug and I lost all my writing, not just this story but everything else as well. I'm back now though, and expect more regular updates.

There's two chapters coming up about Chris mainly, and then it slips more into Jal and Jacob and their lives I think.

DISCLAIMER: don't own, though want to.

Chapter two:

Jal Miles made her way quietly through the graveyard, her footsteps leaving slight indents in the coarse overgrown grass. She had left Jacob with his godfather for the day, knowing that both would appreciate the time spent together. Maxie doted over Jacob, and Jal was lucky that he was there as a babysitter whenever she really needed it. She had contemplated bringing her son with her today, but had decided that it probably wasn't the best idea. After all, he was still only young, and while today was special in that it marked him being six months old, it was also in a way even more special for another reason.

Sighing softly, Jal sunk slowly onto the cool grass, which still showed an indent even now, six months after she had left it. She guessed, as tears began to pour down her cheeks, that six months of just sitting there could have even left a permanent mark. She sat there, just thinking, and somehow became reminded of the last time she sat there, all those months before, the day Jacob had been born. She had sat and sung to him that day, and told him everything, spilled her heart. And she'd sworn that she'd move on that day, but she hadn't. She hadn't had the strength to get past him and move on with her life and find someone else, because if she was honest she didn't want to. She wasn't ready and there was no-one else for her. There never had been before and she didn't think there ever would be. After all, Chris was the one for her, her world and the person who would always and forever be her love, the man of her dreams. Her life line. And even now, a year down the line, after she had promised she would move on, she hadn't managed it. Not quite, as those around her could see, because sometimes she would just become lost in her memories. The photos would surround her and she would become nothing for hours at a time, as she just got lost in everything that was and would never be again. And on these days Cassie or Sid would come and take Jacob away from her for an hour or so, to give her time to herself so she could be ready to face the day later on. And they thought they were helping her, but more often than not they weren't. If she was to surround herself with the every day of bringing up Jacob then maybe the pain of not having his father there would lessen, because she would be distracted. Sighing, she placed her hand onto the cool grass and bowed her head, and began to talk to the man she would always love.

Oh Chris, I miss you so much. I said I would move on but I haven't, and I can't. Its only been a year, its not that long really. And I want you here with me, I want you to help me bring Jacob up, I want you to see him grow to be just like you, but at the same time I'm afraid that he will. I'm afraid he'll have your problems, or turn into you. I don't know what I'd do or where I'd go if I lost him. I miss you babe, every day, I just wish you were still here with me. I wish you were here to distract me from my worries or tell me that everything will be okay. Because i'm so afraid, so very afraid. And I get so upset over it all even though I should move on. What's wrong with me Chris? Why cant I move on? I know I should but I just can't. And then I feel like i'm a bad mum to Jacob because I'm still so lost in the past. I hate myself for it.

She sat silently for a few minutes waiting for his reply, but no reply came. Because of course, Chris wasn't there any more to reply. Even though he had before, he had given himself up when Jacob was born, and became a part of him. That was why there was no reply from Chris, and why Jal sat there for another half hour with no reply from the man she wanted to hear from most in the world. Because he wasn't there to reply any more, and the graveyard was simply the place where his body lay, slowly becoming part of the earth. And as she sat there Jal started to understand that, and started realising the truth. That coming back to the graveyard that day wasn't really worth it. There was no part of Chris left there for her, because he was with her in other ways. He was with her all the time, and she didn't need to come to the graveyard to find that connection to him. After all, he was with her all the time, just in a different way. And sometimes love wasn't shown through the physical, through having someone there, but instead through the mental, through the feelings of trust and faith which would survive even from death.

Jal rose from her seat, and taking one last look back at the quiet grave she began to walk back the way she had come, towards her friends and her son who she had left behind a few hours earlier. Looking briefly at her watch she smiled, because she had thought she'd only been there for ten minutes, but in reality it had been two hours. And she felt a sense of relief in a way, that she had gone there, but also joy because she had realised that he was still with her. Grinning to herself, she walked steadily away, already looking forward to the night to come. 


End file.
